Catch up

Hey guys! I haven't posted for a while, it's been a SUPER busy month full of momming, camping, finishing off house projects, and over all just enjoying summer!

The last few weeks I've been learning lots about my body's capabilities and limitations, I've been paying attention to what I'm doing that flares up my chronic breathing pain, and what helps it, the things I do that brings on mental fatigue really quickly and then a quick bounce back after a rest, and other things I do that bring on the mental fatigue, irritability, intrusive thoughts and a prolonged bounce back. When I say prolonged, I mean like a couple days as opposed to just a quick nap and feeling better! These limitations are a bit debilitating mentally because if you would have asked me to do some of these things that take a prolonged recovery, like climbing scaffolding for example a year and a bit ago, I would have been able to do it without even hesitating. But now I have to stop and think how to get back down, and then taking a few extra minutes trying to figure out how to climb a ladder again...makes me feel like a donkey. Like I can't even figure out how to climb a ladder at 28 years old. But I can't change it, just learn from it.

We also celebrated our one year anniversary to the accident on the 25th of July. That day was filled with a lot of emotions, anxiety, flashbacks and love. Im SO beyond grateful for my support system we've built over the last year. My close friends and family have really helped, especially because they knew the old me and they've accepted the new version of myself. I'm still learning to accept the new version of myself, but we're getting there every day. It's hard to differentiate between head injury Emma and mom Emma.. here's an example of both mixed together, I can't just tube the river on a regular summer weekend, A) because I have to find a sitter ( so mom related ) and B) Being around a group of people and music and drinking and the noise is all just so overwhelming and overstimulating it makes my head prickle not in good ways when I think about it. ( head related ) So yeah life has definitely changed in a few ways, but I think its honestly for the better.

On the mom side of the coin, Av is still sleeping so good. Shes got such a personality, our days are filled with lots of laughs and smiles. She makes life so fun! This busy bee is going to be 11 months on the 15th so I'm starting to plan her 1st BIRTHDAY! I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that we're going to have a 1 year old in September. She's assisted walking now, and zooms around the house when she's crawling. She knows what she wants too and when she doesn't want something, she'll let you know. Changing diapers in this house has been a patience testing activity. She rolls, she kicks, she cries when you try to hold her down to put a diaper on her. I've adapted to her wants and I'm learning how to put a diaper and get her dressed for the day while she's standing. She's so funny and brings SO MUCH love, light and laughter into our life.

I saw these pictures on a traumatic brain injury support Facebook page and it's 100000% true so I figured I would share it, sometimes when I get frustrated with myself about my progress and my deficits, I look at this and it helps me remember to be patient with myself. There's lots of underlying things that are going on, and sometimes I forget because I look fine and I feel good on good days. All of this is a huge learning curve. Patience and being kind to myself is really important, and I'm working on that.