Embracing my brain injury

It's been such a helpful, informative couple of weeks! I've started seeing a counselor for my ocd problem, that I guess is the underlying factor to my impulsivity. I've also received my loop ear plugs in the mail as well, AND I've attended my first "concussed moms" support group. That group is EXACTLY everything I was looking for, I felt like crying after the meeting, grateful tears though. I have to say what a huge, HUGE step forward into the right direction.

The top 6 things I've learnt about myself these last few weeks:

1. Break it up; I'm organizing my weeks and my appointments in ways that it'll be benificial to my head. I know I'm going to be mentally fatigued so why not help myself instead of hurt myself?

2. My impulsivity, intrusive thoughts and my obsession with having to close the bathroom door myself before bed so I know it's closed, is all tied in with my newly aquired OCD. My counselor really opened my eyes to this, what she said was that there was so much that happened that was out of my control, and now I don't feel safe when I can't control things. So like, closing the bathroom door myself helps my nervous system feel safe because I controlled something before bed. All the weird stuff I do like listening to a handful of songs in the car, and having to be extra reliant on a schedule and on time, and rewatching the same movie 10000 times, is because its predictable, and i know it all like the back of my hand, so nothing unexpected can happen. I feel safe. Not 150% sure how fighting myself to not stop and take home a boulder I saw on the side of the road would make me feel in control and safe- but we're gunna work on that and look into it!

3. There IS help for my newly aquired unique corks, and there's a whole whack of different resources out there. I just wasn't connected to the right people in order to find them.

4. I am NOT alone. Yes, ive been extremely lucky with having my family and my husband be so supportive and try to understand, but now with this concussed moms support group, I can finally click with other moms that are in the same boat, or have been in the same boat and can relate. I love that for us. These ladies are so so strong, they have given me hope for the future. This group is everything and more to what I needed and I'm so grateful to have come across them.

5. I need to be more kind, and gentle with myself. And im going to start really working on that. Would I talk to my daughter the way I talk down to myself? No. So why am I treating myself that way?

6. I am learning my limits and playing within them; if I know I'm going out somewhere, I can mentally prepare for it by resting up, going, taking breaks if needed, and then tapping out when I feel like I need to.

So there they are, that's the top 6 things that have really stood out to me. Stuff I need to work on, stuff I've learnt and will continue learning about myself. I feel like lately I've just kind of, embraced this head injury and im accepting it, im looking for extra support groups, im doing some research on it, im reaching out to people that have gone through the similar experiences, im getting help medically for it aswell and most importantly, im just adjusting my new life to work with it and not against it. I feel like I've had a break through this week in a positive way and I no longer feel lost, alone and scared. I feel like I can finally see a light at the end of this long dark scary tunnel.

Also, the loops ear plugs are a bit different, and something I have to get used to. I've only had to wear them a couple times and that was while Av was having a temper tantrum. I find you can still hear everything, but it just takes the edge off. I'm not sure how else to explain it. But they seem to be working for me so far!

Thanks to my readers that have followed along this far with me, I really appreciate you guys. This has been such a helpful resource to me aswell, where I can just unload it all and who ever is interested it's there for them to follow along. I love you guys ❤️